exceptions

I want to ride an elephant. Care to join me?

modernvampiresofnewyork:

What girls look for in guys

  • brown eyes
  • messy hair
  • cute nose
  • 4 paws
  • golden retriever 

“I hope you fall for her
And I hope she falls for you too
And while you’re planning your life together
I hope she gets up
And walks right out your front door
I hope you never see her again
And that she breaks your fucking heart
Just like you broke mine”

—   (via consu-med)

(via shesfuckingawesome)

(Source: methmaker, via wondersleepsheree)

awwww-cute:


The mailman brings my dog a treat every day. This is what she does when she hears the truck approaching our street

awwww-cute:

The mailman brings my dog a treat every day. This is what she does when she hears the truck approaching our street

(via baconshouldgrowontrees)

machetecorgez:

happy 4th of july!!!

(via corgiaddict)

ghostsfacer:

what if people got a new name every birthday

what if the name represented how old you were, like every 11 year old was named Josh

"I had my first kiss when I was Greg"

(via harrys-daddy)

pleatedjeans:

via

fog-of-lost-souls:

creaturetshirt:

scarymermaid:

dreadlockholmes:

foreveralone-lyguy:

beebunny:

'Howl' o ween with the boyfriend

are you dating Cole Sprouse

That is literally cole sprouse
look u can see the other cole sprouse peeking through the thing

THE OTHER COLE SPROUSE

ITS BACK

at first I thought this was a lesbian couple then I had a double take

(via alicebiu)

nialllhoran:

don’t fucking tell me to wear more clothing because tiny dicked men feel the need to yell comments to me out their car window because the last vagina they saw was their mums when they were coming out of it

(via alicebiu)

dysphorism:

DO YOU EVER JUST

GET JEALOUS SO EASILY

LIKE NO 

THAT PERSON IS MINE

DON’T BREATHE AROUND THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU

(via alicebiu)

potatoeing:

doitsusleftnut:

navigatorin:

gabrielsaunteredvaguelydownwards:

meanwhile in england

  • i am in a dress
  • everybody you talk to opens conversation with ‘FUCK it’s hot’
  • there are three hour long traffic jams for the beach
  • everybody not at the beach is at home wailing that it’s too damn hot
  • the shops have sold out of hair removal cream

it is 28°C how do you people do this ‘heat’ thing

image

americans laughing in the distance

australians laughing maniacly 

(via brip11)

Mom:

If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose?

Me:

A dull knife.

Dad:

Why a dull knife?

Me:

You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.

Mom:

We've raised a potential serial killer.

Dad:

I don't know about you, but I'm proud of the amount of thought that went into that.