What girls look for in guys
- brown eyes
- messy hair
- cute nose
- 4 paws
- golden retriever
what if people got a new name every birthday
what if the name represented how old you were, like every 11 year old was named Josh
"I had my first kiss when I was Greg"
don’t fucking tell me to wear more clothing because tiny dicked men feel the need to yell comments to me out their car window because the last vagina they saw was their mums when they were coming out of it
DO YOU EVER JUST
GET JEALOUS SO EASILY
THAT PERSON IS MINE
DON’T BREATHE AROUND THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU
meanwhile in england
- i am in a dress
- everybody you talk to opens conversation with ‘FUCK it’s hot’
- there are three hour long traffic jams for the beach
- everybody not at the beach is at home wailing that it’s too damn hot
- the shops have sold out of hair removal cream
it is 28°C how do you people do this ‘heat’ thing
americans laughing in the distance
australians laughing maniacly
If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose?
A dull knife.
Why a dull knife?
You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.
We've raised a potential serial killer.
I don't know about you, but I'm proud of the amount of thought that went into that.